First date TMI

I am a sucker for a redhead.  On my 1-10 scale a redhead can score a 12, maybe even a 13, since they get a couple of automatic bonus points in my world for their hair and skin tone.  So when a new online red-haired friend from one of the free dating sites suggested we get together for our first meeting last night I was in full agreement.  I had a strong feeling that after the in-person meeting I would easily score her close to that 10 mark, based on her photos — which were recent and she just posted more new ones that day — and the couple of actual phone conversations we had — she had a bit of accent too!  It’s amazing though what a bit of conversation over a drink can actual reveal, and how being a redhead could suddenly mean nothing in my world.  Keep in mind, this only applies to this specific redhead.  All others: you’re still way up there.

Let me say that I am completely in favor of being open and honest.  But, some things are best not shared during a first meeting.  We met at a bar/brewery/restaurant about half-way between our homes and were able to find a seat in the bar area.  It was a bit crowded, which made the conversation even more awkward because every revelation she made was overheard by the two guys sitting behind her.  I swear I thought their necks were going to snap off more than once as their heads spun around in that “WTF did she just say?” way.  If I wasn’t sitting across from her and looking right at her, my neck would be sore today as well.

Menage a how many?
An innocent enough comment; her dogs sleep on her bed.  Nothing ominous there.  But as the conversation progressed it was revealed that the dogs, they are always on the bed whenever she’s on the bed, regardless of the activity.  Not just for sleep, but other more physical activities as well…whether or not she has a partner present.  I’m not sure about anyone else, but the thought of a pet there in that moment strikes me as more than just odd.

Who’s your roommate?
She’s recently separated.  I’m nearing the point that I may start avoiding those words.  I haven’t had good luck with anyone in that position. While it’s one thing to be separated from your spouse and be going through a divorce,  it’s another when that spouse, who you’re still married too, lives in the same house.  And I was worried about the dogs being on the bed.

Current Photos… so that’s why
The other day I wrote that its important to have current photos in your online profile.  I mentioned earlier that she had posted new pictures as recently as earlier that day.  The reason why her photos were all recent was because just around two months ago she was close to 100 pounds heavier; lets hear it for the lap band!  I certainly don’t have any issues with someone’s weight, but there was something about this revelation that just wasn’t right.  Maybe it was the talk of her surgery in general; this was just strange to me.

I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you correctly
Being open and honest in a sexual relation is very important.  Sharing your history of STDs during your first face-to-face meeting with someone… maybe not the right time.  Crabs, warts, and vaginitis
(I know, not STD, but while we’re down there…).  All gone.  All cleared up.  All treated.  No threat of passing anything along to a partner.  Why mention it then?  More importantly, why mention it now?  Couldn’t we had gotten through one drink before we cover these items!?


The bar was closing.  I’d had my two pints, she’d had her one girly drink and the conversation was now coming to an end.  There was more that I could mention, not surprisingly, but the rest seems quite trivial in comparison.

Am I too picky?  Am I too conservative?  Not enough?  It doesn’t matter.  If there’s certain behaviour that I don’t agree with, or conversations that put me off, then the chemistry just isn’t there.

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About Fresh Start Dad
Early forties, divorced dad of two teenagers, surviving back in the single world. Here to share stories and any survival skills I pick-up a

3 Responses to First date TMI

  1. Tiffany says:

    Um, wow. Well, I don’t trust online dating sites (especially not the free ones) so not shocked entirely. I think maybe you were lucky she shared all of this. Me? I share a lot early on too.. because I don’t want to date a guy who can’t deal with the fact that my cat might poop on the floor if he’s sick or the fact that I’m a terrible housekeeper (nothing gross i just hate to dust). But it seems to me that your date was, um, well problematic and did you a favor by sharing.

  2. sleeplessinsimi says:

    I love the “Menage a how many?”… I dated a guy in Texas who turned out to be “overtly friendly” with his dog.

  3. ashleeekaren says:

    Sounds like typical online date! I’ve had some bad experiences as well, but no one so far has mentioned their STD history. Wow…

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