The Past Is The Past…right?

I recently started cleaning out my garage in order to make more room around my pool table, and to start using it more as pool table as opposed to just “table”. I came across a couple of boxes of photos with some dating back as much as 20 years — found a great photo of me, my kids, my grandfather, and my dads (Not a typo. I’ll explain later.) — and I also found things that went directly to the trash can. In a couple of other boxes of miscellaneous this-and-that stuff I found my old journals, and they made for an interesting read. Read more of this post

Friday Ramblings: The Next Phase

When I first sat down to write this post I only had the tiniest bit of focus, and as I continued to write even that went astray. My first draft covered a wide variety of topics, but I only pulled a few together for this post. The upside: there will be another post from the leftovers soon.

This coming week both my children start at a new school.  My son starts his freshman year in high school, and my daughter — sigh — starts her freshman college year. I think they’re more ready than I am for this next phase in their lives. Read more of this post

Horoscopes Can Be Spooky

Yesterday was a bad day. There was some drama with my daughter — nothing major, just very emotional, more for her than me — crap with my landlord, and the most upsetting was that a friend’s ashes were scattered on Thursday, but nobody told me it was happening that day.

I wasn’t happy.  Sure, the drama with my daughter allowed us to have a very productive conversation and it was good practice for her to be able to open up; her mother had “trained” her that if she speaks her mind she’s selfish. The issue had actually started the night before when at 1:00 am I had said I wanted the TV off and she didn’t want to go to bed, so she sat on the couch for 30 minutes just to make a point about it being her choice on when to go to bed. (I’ll write another post about this “I’m growing up” experience later.) The other things that happened were very annoying and emotionally draining. I needed a break.

I had tried to get in touch with my friend Stacy to see if she wanted to go to the NHL Draft in Los Angeles at the Staples Center. I have season tickets to the LA Kings, so the tickets to the draft were free, it would be a chance to get a summer hockey fix, and I’d be in a neutral environment and able to relax. I finally heard from her around 4:30 — the draft started at 4:00 — and we decided to go for it.  When I got her house we decided that LA traffic SUCKS and that we wouldn’t make it to the draft anyway. Backup plan: margaritas and music at a local bar.

Pulling into the parking lot there were two parking places available, next to each other.  The car in front of mine pulled up as if he was going to back into the 2nd spot, so I simply pulled into the 1st spot. Next thing I know he’s out of his car, yelling that I stole his spot, and simply going off the deep end…with his wife and 3 kids in the car. A fine example of a father. We calmly told him that we didn’t take his spot; there’s another one right next to us! Granted, it was on the end and wasn’t very clear that it was a spot, but it was. He shut up for a moment, looked at the parking strips at his feet, and appeared humbled. Well, he couldn’t “lose” an argument, so then he started yelling and saying that I was right on his bumper as we pulled in to the lot. Um…no. This guy was not helping my day. Finally he got back in his car and went and parked elsewhere.

We made it inside and started on a pitcher of margaritas. I needed this. Stacy asked about all the stuff that was going on that day — I had only told her it was bad and no specifics — and just talking about it helped.  Telling her about the conversation with my daughter was very helpful, since she had been through similar things with her now adult kids. Talking about my friends ashes being scattered revealed just how much that had affected me. I didn’t realize it until I discussed it, but again, talking about it and getting reassurance that it doesn’t change the friendship I had with him helped. All in all, sitting with this good friend of mine, hearing her wisdom, helped.

Horoscopes Scare Me Now
I don’t usually read my horoscope. When I do I know that its all entertainment, and more of the things they say are very generalized and can fit into almost anyone’s life. Many times I’ll read them the next day just to see if they were accurate. That way, what they say doesn’t provide any sub-conscience influence the day ahead.

This morning I read yesterday’s horoscope:

Conversations with those you look up to prove to be most rewarding. Unexpected developments could force you to regroup. A family member acts out in order to get your attention. Tonight’s Tips: TGIF. Meet a friend.

Like I said, pretty general…but in this case pretty accurate. I think I need to go grab today’s paper now.

I’m Baaaaaack….

For the past couple of weeks, events IRL (in real life) have been taking me away from my online presence. There’s been a lot that has happened and though I’ve been anxious to write it all, I just haven’t had the time.  But now…

I’m catching up on everything, pulling myself out of the funk that I’ve been in, and getting back to the me that has focus, direction and purpose.  A renewed determination to get back in the game of life if you will.

Look for several posts in the coming days, including my completion of the series I started reflecting upon my relationship with my daughter; a new high school graduate.

So You’re Gonna Go On Match.com…

Yahoo recently announced that Match.com will become Yahoo’s online dating site provider.   This means that if you’re on Yahoo Personals and want to keep a profile up you’ll need to update your profile; if you’re not on Match.com already.  I wanted to take this opportunity to walk you through setting up a Match.com profile, and what NOT to put on it. Read more of this post

Hurting A Friend Sucks

For the past few days I’ve been absent from the online world; Twitter, Facebook, online dating sites, IM, everything.  I had a lot on my mind after my not-as-anonymous-as-I-would-like Twitter account was found by a friend of mine, and her realization that a tweet I had made was about her; a not so flattering tweet.  The tweet hurt her feelings, and that upset me.  So for the past few days I’ve been busy considering what to do with my identity — keep it or let the whole thing go — and trying to figure out if this whole “writing a blog” thing was worth it. Read more of this post

Guilt, or Not Guilt

Yesterday I had a chance to spend a little time with one of my sisters and one of my fathers, but I didn’t.  I made a conscious choice not to, and that kind of bummed me out.  Not because I feel bad for the choice I made, but because I don’t feel bad.

The Reader’s Digest backstory
My family tree is pretty confusing; think banyon tree.  I’m a reunited adoptee, and the child of divorce parents, and my dad is remarried, and I have step siblings, and… lets just say that Hallmark loves me.  Unfortunately, last year my my birth-father had a stroke and is currently in an assisted care situation.  Wait, I need to back up further…

Read more of this post

Algebra In The Dating World

A few weeks ago, I was contacted by someone much younger than myself; a 20 year-old, who we’ll call TY.  I figured this must be some kind of spammer, Nigerian 419 scam, or someone with “services available to a generous gentleman”, because seriously I cannot picture a 20 year-old attempting reach out to me.  So I played along and replied to the e-mails.  It was all too perfect: she lived in my town, she’s just looking for new “friends”, and according to her my profile made it seem like “it would be fun to get together”.  Uh huh.  A total scam.  Having worked in then computer security field I was very careful not to reveal any identifiable information about myself: I have alternate e-mail aliases, IM accounts, means to text message, and even a different phone number to give out if that were ever necessary.  So lets play.

Dear Mother Of My Children…

Dear Mother Of My Children:

Years ago you gave me two wonderful gifts that have brought joy, pain, love, pride, and much more into my life.  For this, I thank you and wish you a Happy Mother’s Day.

On this Mother’s Day I wish a gift for you.  It’s one that I have wished for you in the past, but you have repeatedly refused to receive it.  Please, trust me, if you accept the gift you will have children that love you more.  The gift is is the ability to respect; specifically your children.  Trust me, this is the gift you need. Read more of this post

I like you, I think

The first time I wrote an online profile I tried writing what I thought would attract “the right” woman.  I didn’t lie so much as I simply bent the truth and left things out.  If I found a woman’s profile attractive I would update mine so that it more closely matched what she had in her “what I’m looking for” section.  Okay…I guess I did lie.  But that was long ago.

If you falsify details in your profile, and you do get to meet that person you desire, they’re going to figure out that your profile isn’t really you.  It took a little bit of time but I’ve learned: you need to be upfront and honest.  I figured out that I what I really want to find is the person that likes me for exactly who I am, so now I’m an open book.  But what if you tell the truth and the person reading your profile doesn’t bother to pay attention? Read more of this post