Was My Daughter Hit On?

This morning, my daughter told me that she received a compliment on her shoes — her old, beat-up, comfy, rainbow flip-flops — from “someone” in the tutoring center at school the other day. I asked half-jokingly what “his” name was, to which she said she didn’t know his name. I then proceeded to share with her that a guy wouldn’t complement a girl on her shoes unless he has an interest in her. She then proceeded to tell me that I was wrong.

I need your opinion on this:

Friday Ramblings: The Next Phase

When I first sat down to write this post I only had the tiniest bit of focus, and as I continued to write even that went astray. My first draft covered a wide variety of topics, but I only pulled a few together for this post. The upside: there will be another post from the leftovers soon.

This coming week both my children start at a new school.  My son starts his freshman year in high school, and my daughter — sigh — starts her freshman college year. I think they’re more ready than I am for this next phase in their lives.

Kids Know When You Don’t Care

This weekend my daughter begins living with me full-time; no more scheduled back and forth between her mom’s house and mine. Although the ex and I live only a mile apart, my soon-to-be-18-year-old daughter decided that she just wants to call one house “home”. She chose mine. This has not set well with her mother fucker of a mom.

If Only It Paid Better

A couple of years ago my kids and I took the train to the County Fair. Along the way I took an impromptu photo of my son as the train paused on the tracks. It was unplanned and quickly taken with my iPhone camera; 1st generation iPhone at that! I liked the photo.

Horoscopes Can Be Spooky

Yesterday was a bad day. There was some drama with my daughter — nothing major, just very emotional, more for her than me — crap with my landlord, and the most upsetting was that a friend’s ashes were scattered on Thursday, but nobody told me it was happening that day.

I wasn’t happy.  Sure, the drama with my daughter allowed us to have a very productive conversation and it was good practice for her to be able to open up; her mother had “trained” her that if she speaks her mind she’s selfish. The issue had actually started the night before when at 1:00 am I had said I wanted the TV off and she didn’t want to go to bed, so she sat on the couch for 30 minutes just to make a point about it being her choice on when to go to bed. (I’ll write another post about this “I’m growing up” experience later.) The other things that happened were very annoying and emotionally draining. I needed a break.

I had tried to get in touch with my friend Stacy to see if she wanted to go to the NHL Draft in Los Angeles at the Staples Center. I have season tickets to the LA Kings, so the tickets to the draft were free, it would be a chance to get a summer hockey fix, and I’d be in a neutral environment and able to relax. I finally heard from her around 4:30 — the draft started at 4:00 — and we decided to go for it.  When I got her house we decided that LA traffic SUCKS and that we wouldn’t make it to the draft anyway. Backup plan: margaritas and music at a local bar.

Pulling into the parking lot there were two parking places available, next to each other.  The car in front of mine pulled up as if he was going to back into the 2nd spot, so I simply pulled into the 1st spot. Next thing I know he’s out of his car, yelling that I stole his spot, and simply going off the deep end…with his wife and 3 kids in the car. A fine example of a father. We calmly told him that we didn’t take his spot; there’s another one right next to us! Granted, it was on the end and wasn’t very clear that it was a spot, but it was. He shut up for a moment, looked at the parking strips at his feet, and appeared humbled. Well, he couldn’t “lose” an argument, so then he started yelling and saying that I was right on his bumper as we pulled in to the lot. Um…no. This guy was not helping my day. Finally he got back in his car and went and parked elsewhere.

We made it inside and started on a pitcher of margaritas. I needed this. Stacy asked about all the stuff that was going on that day — I had only told her it was bad and no specifics — and just talking about it helped.  Telling her about the conversation with my daughter was very helpful, since she had been through similar things with her now adult kids. Talking about my friends ashes being scattered revealed just how much that had affected me. I didn’t realize it until I discussed it, but again, talking about it and getting reassurance that it doesn’t change the friendship I had with him helped. All in all, sitting with this good friend of mine, hearing her wisdom, helped.

Horoscopes Scare Me Now
I don’t usually read my horoscope. When I do I know that its all entertainment, and more of the things they say are very generalized and can fit into almost anyone’s life. Many times I’ll read them the next day just to see if they were accurate. That way, what they say doesn’t provide any sub-conscience influence the day ahead.

This morning I read yesterday’s horoscope:

Conversations with those you look up to prove to be most rewarding. Unexpected developments could force you to regroup. A family member acts out in order to get your attention. Tonight’s Tips: TGIF. Meet a friend.

Like I said, pretty general…but in this case pretty accurate. I think I need to go grab today’s paper now.

Special Fathers’ Day Wishes

A moment, for some special Fathers’ Day wishes:

Fathers in the Military
It’s a life you chose, and it has taken you far away. You fight for not only our freedom and rights, but for those of your children. You sacrifice being with your family, and risk the ultimate sacrifice while doing so. May all you give up for your child never be forgotten. Happy Fathers’ Day.

Fathers Gone Too Soon
Whether your child was yet unborn, or fully grown, your life here with us ended too soon. But in your time with us, you brought life into this world. You made a contribution that remains, that grows, and that reminds us of you. Circumstances beyond your control took you away, but our thoughts of you remain constant and loving. Happy Fathers’ Day

Fathers that Stepped Up
You came into the life of a child somewhat unexpectedly. When you met their mother you knew it was a package deal; a woman you grew to care about, and her child. Whether or not that child’s father was there, you gave of yourself. You let them know that you cared, and that you were, you are, someone they could look up to, and count on. Happy Fathers’ Day

Because you Father
You give so much in all that you do. You give more of yourself than anyone should have too, and you do it not because you must, but because you love. You make sure that your child is taken care of, and ensure that they know they are loved. You fill the gap created by the absence of another, and you help to minimize the feeling that there is something missing. Because the man that contributed to your child’s existence is not there, fully or in part, whatever the circumstances of their absence, you ensure your child has all they would “normally” get. Not because you are a “father”, but because you father your child. Thank you for being that parent that not only mothers their child, but “fathers” them as well. To the mom’s that do it all…

And So It Begins

There are some events that have occurred in my life that are very easy for me to recall.  They are memories that give me pleasure to recall, or that are a very significant point in my life. These events usually concern my children.  As we head into the final days of my daughter’s years in high school these events are flashing through my consciousness at an ever increasing rate, and I’m swimming a sea of emotions and memories.  Over the next couple of days I will be writing these memories of my life with her so far.

The Beginning

June Wants To Kick My Ass

I should’ve seen this coming; June wants to kill me. Multiple events per day on multiple occasions. Family obligations. Friends who I haven’t seen in awhile and really want too — but probably won’t be able to. New friends that I’d like to meet in real life, but that also looks unlikely. I’m still trying to figure out if this was bad planning on my part, or is the universe trying to wear me down and stress me out. Let’s look at my calendar for the month after the jump…

Little Things That Make A Parent Smile

Every once in awhile a parent gets to see their child do something small — infinitesimally small — that lets them know that somewhere along the way they did things right.  I got that experience tonight.

I had a to leave the house before the kids were done with dinner.  A couple of hours I returned home and the kids both had headed up to bed for the night.  I caught up on some Netflix (there’s this show, about a plane crash on an island, and a dinosaur just at the pilot…) then decided to start heading to bed myself.  As I headed into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator I saw it, something fantastic…

The bowl of udon noodle salad that we had for dinner was put away in the fridge and covered with plastic wrap.  I literally stopped and stared at it for a good 30 seconds, feeling tears of pride welling up in my eyes.  I realized then as I turned to look at the dining table that their plates had all been cleared, put in the sink, and rinsed off.

I wasn’t here.  I didn’t do any of it.  They did.  I didn’t get a text message or a phone call while I was out asking me “What should we do with the pasta?”  It was just done.

Maybe I’m overreacting.  Maybe it really isn’t that big a deal.  Naw… for me it was a little thing that really does mean a great deal.

Dear Mother Of My Children…

Dear Mother Of My Children:

Years ago you gave me two wonderful gifts that have brought joy, pain, love, pride, and much more into my life.  For this, I thank you and wish you a Happy Mother’s Day.

On this Mother’s Day I wish a gift for you.  It’s one that I have wished for you in the past, but you have repeatedly refused to receive it.  Please, trust me, if you accept the gift you will have children that love you more.  The gift is is the ability to respect; specifically your children.  Trust me, this is the gift you need.